I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
