I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
