Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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