grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
