oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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