She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
