i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just invented taco cereal.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
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