Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
