i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
even my farts smell like vagina
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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