i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
