Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
