If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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