I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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