Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
