Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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