i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
