I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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