covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
