Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
