Christians are straight up FREAKS
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The struggles of a small town man whore
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
