at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
