Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
