I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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