so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
