ugly people sure do ruin things
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
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