quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
