chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
