They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
