That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
