so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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