My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i dont even know how to be here
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
