She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It's not a walk of shame if you run
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
