shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize