Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
