he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
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