Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
