Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize
