Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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