Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It's shark week go big or go home
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
