My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
