ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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