She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
