we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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