I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
