I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
