Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
