Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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