I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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