Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
