hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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