I'm lost and stupid without you.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
