Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i drank out of a bidet.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
don't judge my taste in strippers
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
