So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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