Moan for me like Helen Keller
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Every concussion has its silver lining
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
